to be continued

...

Let loose your inhibitions

What a random week, from mama's couch

to covered Boston Whalers on the Balboa Peninsula

To Penthouses at The Palms and unhostile hostel takeovers

from late arrivals and no place to call home, content.

I shook the hand of my childhood idol and learned in Vegas

that he's been having a problem with painkillers

Arn says that Craig Kelly had this peace about him

and Jamie has it too so the conclusion strewn is that

When You spend enough time in the trees you reach a certain nirvana

I need to ride, I need to shred for my mind's sake

Bag the park and bag the image, feed the soul

Let loose the inhibitions and viral attachments you hold

My buddy Ben says that if you surround yourself with Bums

You Become one. And I say surround yourself with everyone

IE good people and see the good qualities in them

8 habits of the heart you will be read and homeless kids in my neighborhood you will be fed

Now I know your education has got you racin from one step to the next

you get a degree then a job to pay back the debt

but free your mind my friend free your soul.

Let loose the inhibitions and viral attachments you hold

Constantly weighing ourselves down with the drudgeries of Self image bullshit

and insecure ambitions. No longer shall we reach for the stars

they are simply too far. They're not there for us to reach out and touch

but rather a means for us to aspire, join forces and build each other up.

See if you were to reach out your arm as far as it will go

Until it feels as though the bones will somehow explode

through those little swivels that you call your own

you'll have blood on your hands and a loose hold at your feet

You will fall. Unless your clever enough to have somebody step in beneath

and so on and so forth until you've reached the heavens and celestial spheres

On the backs of others, only to find yourself alone at the top

looking down on all those you've stopped

Realizing what you've done, is preposterous like leaving leftovers to rot

so friends I implore you, take a look at the company you keep

are you strengthening ties through cross communal techniques

or are you merely reaching for the sky with good people beneath?

This is not my vision for truth

c'est personne et tout le monde

You cannot own truth

so in jest everything you own, is false.

Even the notion of you, see there is no you and there is no us

we are but one; one heart, one pulse, and one love

Yet apart by mental seperation

It is all in your mind

Speaking of which, I need to ride

I need to shred for my mind's sake

bag the park and bag the image feed your soul

let loose the inhibitions and viral attachments that you hold.

Sick of holding my breath

I get called up about a million times a day

Its from people I dont know who dont know what to say

A scripted shifted thoughtless process

and I am not interested in your free tickets to the tropics

How'd you get my number anyway?

I swear more people call me than I even care to say

Clearly not a million I'm exaggerating a bit

but what the * you stupid * take me off that putrid list

I am sick of holding my breath

Mom's two states away dreaming of morning sunrises

and walks on the beach while I sit at home alone

not interested in social excursions with thoughtless speech

this one here

this is for the rocking peeps

caught in the streets with nowhere to go

and nowhere to sleep at least in peace

cause Im right there with you homie

I shit you not rumble and tumble I live to rot

and rot I will until the day that my shit is packed

and I fly away, cause I'm sick of holding my breath

But I've devised a plan to get us out of this mess

to realize our true potential and put it to the test

I confess, I'm a lost child with seemingly insignificant significance

and what lies in these lines is my deliverance

From evil. From people who stand beneath church steeples

preaching guilt ridden values to all those unequal

From people with white collars and BIG dollars

telling me that "money is what makes the world spin."

Sir I must differ what makes my world spin comes in a bottle

and its labelled liquor and when that bottle tips a final degree

from a 179 to a mere one eighty and that last drop hits my lips

My God am I in bliss and you better believe that I'm living my dreams

So save me your idealistic ideologies of philosophy

cause its gotten me ill, ill enough to kill

like the US Government after Kennedy's "United States Note"

Engraved on a debt free 2 dollar bill

Sir I've have my fill and the game is done

I aint here to judge so I cant say who's won

but I can say that since early, my journey,

well its just begun.. simply because I am sick of holding my breath.

THE LIFE

Woke up quick about a quarter to 6

I got to work and I feel like shit

now its the same shit just a different day

where I work my ass off and I barely get paid

See I've been lying to myself

Saying: "its a step" in the direction that I'm tryin to get

cause I spend it all on gas and booze

and head on home straight to you

Is this the life that I'm to live?

Find a wife and have some kids?

get a good job that I can't quit?

Cause I don't see me living this

Never stop exploring without a doubt

every chance I get I must get out

rest my head beneath the stars

long as my body is above the clouds

now where we go says who we are

so Ima ditch the phone and Ima pass some cars

cause finding paradise aint all that hard

and Mexico aint all that far

So is this the life that I'm to live?

Find a wife and have some kids?

Get a good job that I can't quit?

Cause I dont see me living this.

O SON OF MAN!

Write all that We have revealed unto thee with the ink of light upon the tablet of thy spirit. Should this not be in thy power, then make thine ink of the essence of thy heart. If this thou canst not do, then write with that crimson ink that hath been shed in My path. Sweeter indeed is this to Me than all else, that its light may endure for ever.

O Son of Being!

Thy heart is My home; sanctify it for My descent. Thy spirit is My place of revelation; cleanse it for My manifestation.

She Thinks I'm Crazy

She thinks I'm crazy and I'm not so sure thats a bad thing

cause she said I'm amazing too

now we rushed in quick with a touch and a kiss

but I'm not so sure I'm in love with this chick

and yeah, usually that wouldn't really mean a whole hell of a lot

cause I find her beautiful and she, me hot

but I've been there before

and with whom I've done that dance we glance no more

Not even a simple hello or a non chalant hey

to a woman with whom I shared my bed

and allowed to caress my face

and that bothers me

more than any little quark or silly pet peeve

or lame ass show blasting way too loud on the god damn tv

more than a sunburn acquired on the 2nd day

of a week long island getaway

More than conversations starting with

ending with or containing anywhere therein

the phrase:

"like oh my god"

More than false hopes

and fake smiles combined

more than suppressed fights

that overwhelm and eventually test pride

more than somebody leaving the last little bit of milk in the refrigerator

making you think that you have just enough for that delicious bowl of cereal

but when you go to pour it out it barely splashes the top layer

leaving you looking at the carton like what in the ...

more than sketchy wifi connections

that only work when you put the computer riiiiiiiiiiiight here

and when you go to send that beautifully crafted reply

to that woman that had your eye, you realize; you've lost your connection

Literally

and that's what bothers me most

is that two people could become so close

and with a flip of a switch and a brisk removal of clothes

a connection is lost and a friendship morose

so yeah, she thinks I'm crazy

but I'm not so sure that's a bad thing

cause she said I'm amazing too

and the feelings mutual but the connections fading

cause we rushed in with fugitive hearts

still in need of aiding

and criminal hips

apparently in need of abetting

now I still think you're wonderful

and I doubt that'll ever change

But I can see its in our best interest

to not let our bodies behave the way that the crave

cause it would definitely be a shame

If I had to live to see the day where you hesitate

on a simple hello

or even a non chalant, hey.

4 the $

I don't do it for the money FUCK A BUCK

I don't do it for the money if I did I'd be stuck

I don't do it for the money that is such a waste of time

I don't do it for the money yo I do it for my mind

He said she said you need to get a job

You can't be volunteering while they're peering down the nob

Do whatever it takes just keep the stakes large

pockets stay fat and bank account charged

That dollar that you honor aint worth a dime

Its the people that you equal that'll dictate your mind

so free your mind mother fucker and your ass will follow

thinking about the dollar is like should I spit or swallow

Its your life son its time to take it by the reigns

fuck the luxuries of capitalism while millions stay enslaved

half the world's station a dollar a day

and you try to call me out cause you doubt I get paid?

I don't do it for the money fuck a buck

I don't do it for the money if I did I'd be stuck

I don't do it for the money that is such a waste of time

I don't do it for the money yo I do it for my mind

You wanna leave town yea sure why not

we've got enough for a ticket what we need is what we've got

no reason to be fiending for this or that

let the story of your life be the paper stackin fat

see this thing called consumerism is such a fucking joke

I can't believe you fail to see the dragon beneath the cloak

here's a little knowledge to tap into your brain

its a simple understanding that separate the rich from the paid

The wage is minimal no matter where you go

you get a high paying job in exchange for your soul

or you work out your dreams and let the light inside you show

yo I think its plain to see the path that I've chose

I don't do it for the money yo fuck a buck

I don't do it for the money if I did I'd be stuck

I don't do it for the money that is such a waste of time

I don't do it for the money yo I do it for my mind

Endless shifts as an endsless bitch

livin to work and you're workin to live

so the cycle persists; status quo and flow of the psychopathic miss

educated youth and the parents of those kids

escape the rat race go rep your hood

the world mother fucker lets get this shit good

eradicate poverty from every last source

social business and community providin the torch

love for people not for power

cause we're all your equal at this hour

fuck cash fuck money fuck doin the dirt

its time to plow roads like worship and work

let your heart guide your actions

not the cash and relaxin

we've got too much on our plate

to be bustin ass for the captain like what

what what kid what we're like what what

what kid what we're like WHAT WHAT

WHAT KID WHAT WE'RE LIKE WHAT!?

mother fucker I'm gone

Song for Geo

The feelings evoked act like a fist in the throat

either you spit to uplift or you battle and choke

I invoke a sense of security in folks

that choose the porogative to constantly coax

those feelings of inadequacy that too well we all know

in an attempt to capture your rapture as you're travelling home

yo we got a lot of work to do

from stumbling drunks to cracktivity who's

down for the challenge? a community who's

number one incentive: keep your best interest in view

Struggle now thats a 7 letter verb

to stab up a dragon unravel and unnerve

inert forces they've got me battling first

step up to the mic and just babble a verse?

I'd rather sit right here and scrabble some words

that'll spark a revolution in between where you heard

the worst of the worst money sex and hurt

invading your brainwaves and parading the curse

libera tu mente and you're free from the burst

of a shotgun blast that hits hymns and hers

I concur, that this shit is straight fucked up

so when I see you articulating my hat tips up

I said the feelings evoked act like a fist in the throat

either you spit to uplift or you battle and choke

I invoke a sense of security in folks

that choose the porogative to constantly coax

those feelings of inadequacy that too well we all know

in an attempt to capture your rapture as you're travelling home

Sit down shut up open your ears

Codependency accompanied by a couple of beers

the tears shed ain't shit compared to the fear

of dying alone so she condones all his spears

piercing straight to the heart

he knows exactly what to say

how to break her down and build her up

without smacking her face

bruises cuts and knees and elbows.

Does he love she? its easy; Hell no.

Still she won't leave the heat's inferno,

constantly rots and bleeds internal

Bruises cuts and knees and elbows

does he love she? its easy; Hell no.

Still she won't leave the heat's inferno

constantly rots and bleeds internal.

Love for the people

Its love for the people and its love for the streets
and its love for everybody that we are bound to meet
I said its love for the people and its love for the streets
and its love for everybody, now that means you and me

Seeking out your inspiration when its plain to see
that the corners that you're takin aint the same for me
you take em fast and I'll take em slow
and at the end of the day we'll see who's last to go

First to come and yes I'm last to leave
let the love manifest itself naturally
Now I know you and you know me
but there's so many people that we have to meet

I care for my peoples and my peoples care for me
and that is all we need in this world of greed
I said I care for my peoples and my peoples care for me
cause at the end of the day it is brothers we shall be

You start off quick you're bound to end the same
so forget the start and finish its how you play the game
see mama told me once there'd be those days
so I thank my higher power and I give him praise.

Yeah, I keep myself grounded but know flights okay
as long as its elation not a frightened escape
from the reality of struggle and all that pain
cause even flowers need a bunch of shit and rain

said I care for my peoples and my peoples care for me
and that is all we need in this world of greed
said I care for my peoples and my peoples care for me
cause at the end of the day, it is brothers we shall be

and along these city streets it is brothers we shall be
and in this country it is brothers we shall be
the whole world wide it is brothers we shall be
until the day we die it is brothers we shall be

cause its love for the people and its love for the streets
and its love for everybody that we are bound to meet
I said its love for the people and its love for the streets
and its love for everybody now that means you and me

Found Writings #1

*please note that chronological order has taken the form of a Tarantino Film and all roads lead to now ;)*

Loose leaf white paper, black ink written, April 2009, after I sold my car to fly down to www.sosoutreach.org HQ in Vail, CO.. stayed with Arn Menconi, Executive Director and worked in the office doing rough video production the fruits of which can be viewed HERE Enjoy...

I made it to the Denver Greyhound station, the bus was late my bank account is drained, my phone dead but my spirit invigorated because although I'll have no money I'll be in Vail, CO tonight. The snowboarding at the resort would be great and Arn says that he's really looking forward to it but you shouldn't have to pay money to enjoy a good dump. I already know he's going to be a little annoyed as would I but whatever, I'm here to be a student of the game. Faith in humanity and a strong work ethic can always stand in the place of monetary means.

I'm nowhere near finishing my book but I will. Colorado Springs will be the next destination I've decided. Maybe Cam will know some people I can crash with? Or couchsurfing.com who knows. Not worried. I'm almost at the beginning. I ended my last trip with a late flight out of Las Vegas "No smoking no matter how much you paid for it." This trip begins where I left off.

I'm a poet, a pauper, and a prince riding around town on a bus filled of snuffed bliss that doesn't make sense but damn does it rhyme. I trace steps and travel through time in mind lost but continually on my way I know the next step so in the present I stay.

Its that you figure out where you'd like to be and immediately get off your ass you think too much do too little and always attend class. If that works for you then so be it, call me crazy there's a world n I've got to see it. So what I can't twist my tongue to contort my point effectively articulate my stance and blow this joint. I write, I spit, I cry, I shit Jesus did too and so do you don't lie. We attempt to hide the things that make us human and exemplify the behaviors that find us foolish. If I had spent the time I'd invested into getting that man a beer from the overcrowded bar into stepping outside and talking about why he got barred he probably would have walked away without police escort and face drenching tears amidst the sobs and cries that he is a Christian. "You see this, this dove means I'm a Christian." 4 years ago after being tazed and having my head smashed into a wall for noncompliance w/an officer.

Arn is able to produce a service (for the betterment of humanity) through generous contributions and donations. Where does the money go? How much does it take to start? The mountains donate lift tickets people donate gear it seems as thought the networking (like anything) is the most important. Getting people who share similar values on your team willing to sacrifice their profit in $ for profit in humanity. If The Whole Town of Soap ~ VIDEO ~ supplies even the Monroe State Prison with soap (right down the street, making shipping obsolete) we could potentially compete and grow to be the "King of Soap" providing Hope through Soap. The revenue generated from taxpayer money is then placed back into the community to battle the social ills at hand that contribute to the general population of incarcerated individuals. IE Jail Alternative programs that promote healing and betterment of the individual rather than detainment and propogating of the "revolving door system." So the fuck what if it doesn't work, at least we tried. Satisfy the need, utilize the profit. It doesn't need to be fancy to be effective.

Landing in Denver I have to pee. The Denver airport runway is covered in snow :)

Lee Kwan Yew assumed power in 1965 when Singapore was on the verge of a civil war and the economy was in typical post colonial shambles... "Lee represents the classic corporate turnaround chief executive, the take charge guy who knows what needs to be done and has the intestinal fortitude to see that his vision is carried out."

She "freaked out" last night. And insisted on falling asleep alone luckily we woke together. We had sex, dammit, now tings are fucked because we fucked. For no reason too. She was going along with me and I her, sacrificing our bodies, values and self respect to avoid embarrassment? I don't know but its a little screwy that we did that last night and I peace out today. I think it cracked her heart even through the impenetrable walls she's erected around it. They think Adam is gay, the conversation made it sound like only fags don't have sex with women they find attractive. Kind of felt pressured to fit the mold, again where the fuck is my discipline? My integrity? My Compassion? My Courage? My Wisdom? All of which are violently thrown out the window when a twerk of hips occurs during an innocent cuddling and watch a movie night. Now she's alone. When she first met me, she thought I was full of myself. What the fuck?! I told her that I really don't think that much of myself as I pushed a shopping cart back to safeway from the surrounding neighborhood. "Some say when it rains it pours hollywood aint no place for lovers anymore and it aint no place for us." Fuck.

Her middle name is Korean for "pure-forest" and her mom says it suits her well. Turbulence, true.

light it up light it up like its 1985 & we high as fuck

*HAHA just noticed that there's page numbers at the tops of these and so far I've typed page 1 then page 8, 7, 5, and now 4 lol told you*

acting like I wasn't doing anything or hiding crouched (but still cruising) behind the line of cars as police drove up the East-Bound lanes, and a conversation with a young State-Trooper (26 max) at the end of the road closure who felt it necessary to tell me what I was doing but couldn't tell me what law I was breaking. He said he was trying to look it up as I came barrelling straight for his stater-car at a whopping 7mph ha. Nice guy though we spoke for about a half an hour about this and that, I think his name was Bryan, and he gave me a "Junior Trooper" sticker upon my request. Ryan finally rolled up, I got in his car and we were off again. He was asking questions about the Baha'i Faith and Tesla. Both things I should know more about. We're in the midst of take-off and I have almost an entire book to read before hooking up with Arn in Vail. Goodbye and Blue skies.

One of the commonalities of successful Rushmorean leaders and their organizations is that the changes become ongoing "Because the environment doesn't stand still and the needs of stakeholders aren't static. The idea is to institutionalize a process of continuous change."

... me here in seat 29F with loosely-laced snowboarding boots, a simple suggestion from someone I trust and respect, I said hell yea. Geared up and started down the left left two lanes of highway 2. The grade wasn't steep enough to do anything but bomb it, slowly, but the people waiting in their cars seemed to love it. With my hands behind my back back (stylized by old European men) and helmet down I "flew" by a constant stream of frustrated drivers attempting to make the best of their delay with songs, silence, laughs, conversations, and of course parked cars amidst snowball wars. Some people cheered, some wooed, one said I was an idiot lots of "see you in Seattles" from my lips as if I could continue on forever. I gave up my seat so I'm sitting in the middle one 29F is the window but its much more entertaining this way cause now in order to watch the the wing flop around and bring us to the skies I get to see a grandpa vigorously picking his nose. And of course the moment I write it he stops. That final ride from Steven's consisted of following tire tracks, dodging bare patches.

*doodles and scratch writing* =
Zulu doesnt get what all the hype is about.

You learn to cope with getting laid off, time is so much more than money. I know its not a consistent stream but it is a little ironic that the week I get laid off sell my car is the week I snowboard in Vail and will have more money in my bank account than I ever have before.

If you come off full of yourself its viewed as a bad thing. Love is not a conceited obsession but a valued respect.

*Page 3*
Its puking snow in Colorado. I'm wearing my snowboarding boots on the plane to avoid the $25 fee to check a second bag. I might not make it to Vail because of the snowstorm, but I don't have the money to buy a lift ticket anyways and would rather not have that embarrassing moment. I'm praying that I can find some snow to ride and possibly hitch out to Vail on Monday or something when the funds are put back into my account. I can hang by myself for a day especially f I'm "stuck" in snow. I like having all my gear on hand. With my board shorts and books, I'm ready for anything, anywhere. The last time I hit a delay from snow was coming back from Stevens with Ryan for a celebratory goodbye ride before he left for Panama. The DOT was doing avalanche control and had just closed east-bound hwy 2. Westbound was a dead stop. We had gotten to ride the deep pow on the backside all day for free by asking the big chief guy if he'd let us on for one lift. Then hitting <><> Chair and up and over to the pristine acreage of Southern Cross. I'd never ridden that hard or that long but 4pm rolled around and the backside was closed so it was time to go home. Sitting in the stopped car of cars Ryan said something about riding down the other side of the road. Just like what brought...

*Page 2* Doodle and random scribes =
If I were you and you were me would you see me as I do you or would I cease to be? If clouds are grey and none are blue than the ocean is another sky and whales clouds? True?

I'll take one order of chaos please, with room.

the water was so clear you could see the hypothermia

if the sun sets in the west and rises in the east where does it start and where does it sleep?

*page 1* ... I know right!?

"Blood is thicker than water"
"thats because you have a well"
the well pours out of the tap and still I'm not Melvin.
You have decide what niche you want. These are strictly for tourists and they satisfy the "gift" demand if you want to be in the upper echelon, triple distilled, quality product. The bars are aged 3-5 months and flake not dissolve. Marseilles is the region in France. Its a law in the town of Marseilles that a bar of soap must have no additives. Lye, Water, and Oil. There are wars being fought in Indonesia for palm oil because it is a commodity. Spacecraft is doing things in Indonesia Bali was Carl's first trip. I think I'll roll. Im a writer not a fighter. Maryanne has had my Utah shirt for way too long and is down to go to Bali, even has a place to crash.

If God is my Shepherd and I shall not want then His will is my desire and what you give is what you get.